my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
