there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
