I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
