Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
