my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize