now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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