Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
