He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
