I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
