why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
