May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
