I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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