And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
