Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
