You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
