Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
