And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I didn't notice because vodka
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
