I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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