is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
