turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
