I want to have your abortion
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Fuck appropriateness.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
