D3 body, D1 cock
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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