Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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