Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
