Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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