The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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