STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
