I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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