What did we do last night that was yellow?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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