So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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