I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
