Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
