Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
