when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I will pee on everything he values.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
