all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
