sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
