Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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