I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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