one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
