Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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