just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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