Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it

(651): View more from Minnesota

nevermind its newpaper

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.

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(386): View more from Florida

At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?

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(971): View more from Oregon

I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.

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