I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
