it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
