She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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