she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
