There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
