Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
