Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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