Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
