therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
